God Wants to Make Me a Blessing
Key Verse: Genesis 12:2“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing”
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you for all that you have done in my life thus far. Please help me to find a clear life direction for my future as I struggle to write this testimony. I also pray that this testimony is pleasing to you. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
A Lonely Boy in the Boondocks of Pennsylvania
Hello! My Name is Christopher. I was born in 1985 in Waynesboro, PA. My mom was 19 and my dad was 21 and they were not yet married then. My family was by no means wealthy as my mom was still a teenager and my dad was a street sweeper. They had just gotten out on their own and planned on having no kids. Therefore I was tagged as a “mistake”.
I don’t remember much about my childhood but my mother would tell me that there were several occasions where I was taken to the hospital with ear infections from our living in a damp shack on top of a mountain. Only eating 2 meals a day also left me malnourished. I remember on several occasions that I would eat brown sugar sandwiches--a sandwich made with two slices of bread with butter and brown sugar. There were also times where I had no communication with anyone for days or weeks as I grew up in the boondocks of PA, miles away from civilization. My only friends for the first several years of my life were my mom, dad, 2 cousins and several pets. I also had a little sister with whom I would fight constantly as I thought being around her too much drove me crazy. Over the next several years, we moved three times, eventually ending up in a town near Mercersburg, PA where I would spend most of my days riding my dirt bike or playing Nintendo games for hours. In this time frame I had viewed my life as running along smoothly. Getting mediocre grades and goofing off was all I knew. I didn’t have parents of faith to give me spiritual guidance. During my early childhood my grandparents would take me to church as often as I wanted. I often hit the snooze button on Sunday mornings rather than going with them. I was more interested in video games and sports, but God provided me a friend to help me. Micah and his family invited me to attend the Montgomery Brethren in Christ church when I was 13. I began attending services, church luncheons, and youth group events. I particularly liked the missionary projects in which we would be put into groups with other church youths and visit people’s homes who couldn’t afford to fix them. I had fun with hanging out and bonding with other Christian kids. Although I had a brief glimpse of God through these activities, I still had not yet accepted him into my life as fully as I had thought. Putting my faith into Jesus had shown on the outside but didn’t take place where it should--in my heart and soul.
Then at 19 came some of the biggest storms of my life. I was slowly beginning to slip away as I was getting carried away with having a girlfriend, community college, and two part time jobs. Worst of all, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I felt like I could take the whole world on by myself and that’s what I was doing. Making decisions without praying about them or spur of the moment things that I knew weren’t pleasing to God. I would go to church and everyone else would pray for my mother, but I remained silent not knowing the power of prayer at the time. Then things started getting even worse. My jobs were becoming stressful, my girlfriend was cheating on me, my car broke down more times than I can count, and my mom was losing her battle with cancer, and I was losing what little faith I had in God.
As my mother was nearing her end I tried to visit her as often as I could. I went to her bedside on this one particular day and she asked how things were going with church. I told her I was really busy but I was making services when it was convenient. Upset with this comment, she then mustered up enough strength and let me know if it hadn’t been for me being a young boy of faith, she wouldn’t have accepted Jesus Christ as her personal savior because my pastor at the time, Dennis, had baptized her the day before. With tears in my eyes I then gave her a hug and she asked that I do things that would make her proud if she were still around. She passed away in March 2004 at the age of 38. I had the feeling of peace rather than sorrow. I didn’t show very much emotion at all and I wonder if that was ever normal. Knowing that a life is fragile and death is but a heartbeat away I still had nothing to say as I do now. The death of a young mother should have overwhelmed me with grief, but I was relieved to see her in no more pain. There was no blaming of God through the whole process but a brief falling out did occur.
Starting the long road to become a spiritual man
A year after my mom had passed I was going through a series of big changes: Graduating from business college, a full time job on top of a part time job. Going into that summer all I wanted to do was work and play with no regard for God. I went that whole summer letting myself go and doing whatever I wanted not realizing I was hurting my self mentally and physically. Then I did something which I thought would take me even further away from God -- moving to Shippensburg University, party central within a 30 minute drive. One of my best friends, Josh, knew I was looking to move out so he invited me to move in with him as one of his roommates. So I gladly filled in. As I look back on it now, I now see God’s hand in this, but of course at the time I didn’t realize it.Immediately after moving in, Josh invited me to the Shippensburg UBF. Although I wasn’t a student I was quickly welcomed by the Lee’s and others, then the following week I was enrolled in one to one Bible studies with Dr. Lee beginning with Genesis. Then instantaneously I realized this was the spiritual guidance I needed. Sitting in the front of a congregation of 15 or 20 and hearing every word was much more spiritually satisfying than sitting in the back of a congregation of 120 and playing tic-tac-toe. Through studying with Dr. Lee God has given me the most spiritual guidance thus far and has guided me though the book of Genesis and the beginning of John. While also attending two conferences, participating in several dramas and attending Sunday services regularly, I have now started the long road to becoming as Dr. Lee would say a spiritual heavyweight as the Lord has intended for my life. One of my favorite stories in the book of Genesis was the story of Abraham and how through all his struggles to follow God he still came out with what he was promised by God. A particular verse that touched my heart was Genesis 12:2. “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing”. Abraham was a hopeless old man with many problems when God called him. But God made him a source of blessing when he made a decision to follow God, believing in God’s promise. Like Abraham, I have had my own share of ups and downs, but I have a hope in God to a blessing to many people by following Jesus by faith.
My short-term goals in life are currently to go back to school and attain a bachelor’s degree in business. I have applied to Shippensburg University. My calling from God I feel is to be a blessing to others by sharing the word of God with them. To do this, I must study the word of God more seriously and grow to be a Bible teacher. Before writing this testimony, my hope basically was to achieve American Dream – to get a job, buy a nice house, marry a cute girl, have a couple of kids, and live happily ever after. But I now realize that these things cannot be my true goals in life. God does not want me to live a selfish life. He wants me to be a blessing to others. I still hope that God will bless me with these nice things, but I pray sincerely that God may help me to live a life according to his good purpose for me.
One Word: Lord, make me a blessing to others.
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